In this episode Lizzy and Kirsten discuss dressing appropriately to protect yourself.

Steve appears as a guest on the Pearls of Wisdom series produced by No Greater Joy Ministries.

In our own personal self-defense, we should be careful what we are saying to ourselves. In a moment of crisis, you do not want words like fear, weakness, helplessness, powerless, uncertain, hesitation, doubt, quit, and defeat coming into your mind.

Your Mind

Your mind is your “operating system” in a crisis. You cannot expect positive results in an assault when you are feeding your mind with negative input.

Self-Defense Word Bank

Instruction: Read this list of words and imagine each word with a self-defense application. Make a mental picture of a few words each day and work through the entire list.

• awaken
• resist
• protect
• courageous
• win
• survive
• secure
• prevail
• strong
• revive
• fortify
• determined
• faith
• decisive
• tenacity
• contend
• daring
• empowered
• wise
• adequate
• implementation
• sustain
• composure
• withstand
• kindle
• ready
• prevent
• steady
• optimistic
• endure
• confident
• try
• defensive
• negotiate
• forceful
• committed
• affirm
• outlast
• spirit
• relax
• mobilize
• judicious
• strength
• improve
• avert
• continuous
• patience
• strong-willed
• fight
• exit
• respond
• willing
• react
• insist
• balance
• understanding
• exert

Positive Self-Talk Affirmations

“You cannot think afraid and act brave.” — Steve Pearl

Post your self-talk affirmations around so that you will read them often. Add some of your own if you like. When you find yourself entering a high-risk situation, repeat as many of these as you can remember. Your mind cannot focus on two thoughts at once.

• I am very calm
• My mind is clear
• I will breathe deeply
• I will look for an escape
• I can defend myself
• I will focus on what I must do
• I have many options
• I will continue to think
• I have reasons to survive
• I have right on my side
• I will never, ever give up
• I will go home tonight

Note: It does not matter that you are unable to say these affirmations with 100% conviction. Remember, an oft-repeated message reinforced by an emotion will become an attitude. Your positive self-talk becomes particularly effective when it is used in your own “mental crisis rehearsal.” More on that later…

One of your greatest self-defense tactics is to pay attention to your surroundings. At least one area of agreement among prison inmates was that they always looked for a victim who was oblivious to everything going on around them. I once witnessed an armed robbery just a few feet away from me in a large grocery store. Not one single person appeared to notice what was going on except the poor lady at the register who was being robbed.

Sixty Seconds to Awareness

Practice this little exercise several times a day. You will be amazed at how much your level of perception increases. At different times during your day when you are in a public place, take sixty seconds to look around and gather in as much information as possible about your environment. Notice the people both near and far. Take in all of the sights and sounds and smells and also allow your “feelings” to be processed too. Remember, you are just gathering information.

Notice the person sitting in the car smoking with the window rolled down. He has a newspaper in front of his face yet he is not looking at it. Start your sixty seconds with quick snapshots around you for 360 degrees. After you take the landscape pictures with your mental camera, focus on the details along the direction you will be moving. Does anything seem out of place or strange to you? Do not discount anything as unimportant that strikes you as out of place. Go with your instincts.

Have you ever watched an antelope on the Discovery Channel? He walks out of the tall grass toward the watering hole and becomes an information gathering icon. At that moment, nothing in the world matters to the antelope but those sixty seconds of looking at his surroundings for any hungry lions.

After you have practiced this little drill for a while, you will find that you do it automatically in only a few seconds. You get out of your car and in three to five seconds you have scoped out your space. More importantly, anyone who was watching you just moved you way down on the victim list. You just removed the words, “EASY TARGET” from your forehead.

Understand It Is Not Out Of Fear

Understand this is not to be out of fear and paranoia but as a result of common sense and good judgment. When I was a young boy running the fields and creeks near my home, my father taught me to watch out for Copperhead snakes in the woods and Water Moccasin snakes near the water. He taught me not to dive in the creek without checking it first for depth and sticks in the water. When I was hiking through the woods, I knew to watch for packs of wild dogs. Always keep a tree close by to climb he said. I camped out in the woods with my brother (three years older than me) from the time I was six years old. With all of the dangers in the woods, I always walked in confidence because I was aware of my surroundings at all times.

You may have heard it said that a certain person would argue with a fencepost. That is ok if the fencepost is not holding a gun, knife or other weapon on you. Most of us want to get the last word in or at least make sure that our position is perfectly understood by the guy in the next car whom we know is not driving nearly as well as us.

To the wrong person on the streets, a verbal challenge is like being called out for a showdown. Many alpha males and alpha females do not take a challenge lightly. They must be dealt with. Why there is honor at stake here. This can be like squaring off with a hungry lion that is having a very bad day.

If you are going to challenge someone on the streets whom you do not know, you had better know the risk and nature of the game. Flying in under the radar has a lot to be said for it. For all of us non-violent people, we can argue (actually we call it debating) with someone and never feel the urge to “take it outside.” We often argue with people at the office or with our spouse and kids. We think that we have the liberty to have our say with someone on the streets or at a bar and then everyone just walks away with this cathartic exercise.

If you are going to challenge someone on the streets whom you do not know, you had better know the risk and the nature of the game. Going home to your family should always outweigh having… THE LAST WORD!

Rules for Verbal Exchange

When you find yourself in a potentially volatile situation where a verbal exchange is imminent, here are some rules to guide you. Remember, most physical assaults begin with verbal interplay. This is often a pre-exam to see if you are a good candidate for a robbery, assault or rape! Do not let the other person set the rules of the conversation.

The conversation often starts with some distraction like asking for the time, a light, or directions. It may be that the other person wants to argue with you about something of insignificance.

The Rules:

• Be brief
• Be confident
• Be unemotional
• Be final

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” — Thomas Jefferson, 1816

Avoid:

• Rudeness
• Profanity
• Sign language
  (don’t laugh, you know who you are)

Dispense with the idea of winning an argument with a stranger on the street! You have much more to lose by “winning” that game of verbal ping pong than by just walking away!

If you can get away from an aggressor rather than argue, fight, or use a deadly weapon, then go for it. There is not a gazelle in the jungle stupid enough to stop and argue with an angry lion!

Criminals — they are not always so easily identified when met on the street. This code system will heighten your awareness to the danger of a person who intends on harming you.

CODE RED
Enemy In My Camp! Must act now to defend my life!

In this self-defense skill, you will be taught how to use a code system to alert both your mind and body to the various levels of danger in your immediate surroundings.

Why use a code system?

We know that code systems work. Every group from the highest levels of the federal government to the small private school in your neighborhood uses code alerts to inform those nearby of some special circumstances.

“Amber Alert” is all that is necessary to see on a flashing roadside sign or hear on the radio and your mind immediately knows to go to the highest level of awareness that a child is missing. Very little explanation is required. You begin to look for anything that is out of place along the roadside.

Our country has recently developed a code system to notify all federal, state and local agencies of levels of terrorist dangers. To inform hundreds of millions of us as to the level of perceived danger, we have only to hear the code warning from our Homeland Security people.

The code system I am going to teach you will help you put your mind and body into a condition of readiness. Like any other code system, all of the thinking, all of the guidelines have already been established so at the moment of crisis, you have already made your decision as to your appropriate self-defense responses.

There are many code systems using words and various colors of significance. I think this simple system is without question the best I have ever seen for individual self-defense.

This system uses four colors: White, Yellow, Orange, and Red. The progression of colors is natural and easy to remember — White being the lowest threat level while the Red is the most severe treat.

Reasons for having a self-defense code system

• The code system is like a trigger to put your mind and body into a particular defensive mode.
• The code system allows you to see the escalation or de-escalation of events which might be hard to determine otherwise.
• The code system requires you to “determine” responses before the fact. Even if it is some assault crisis that you have never heard of, the code level determines the appropriate response.
• The code system helps prevent your mind from going into a panic driven meltdown making erratic and dangerous decisions.

CODE WHITE

This is the condition that your mind is in when there is no threat of any kind. For the most part, there is not even the likelihood of danger. This is normally within the confines of your home. You are locked down safely. There is no need for your mind or body to be at any level of preparedness. Notice that in Code White, there is no need for self-defense. You are sitting in your recliner watching TV. Not a problem in the world. Let’s suppose, however, you hear some noise at your back door. Your mind would immediately go to the next level.

CODE YELLOW

In a condition of Code Yellow, your mind is now in a state of increased alertness. There is only the possibility for danger. This means you are now looking and thinking about your surroundings.

Do you grab a gun and start shooting through closed doors, and call the swat team for backup? No! This would be an inappropriate response when in a Code Yellow condition.

The only thing required of you in a Code Yellow condition is to bump up your awareness a few notches. Start to use all of your senses. Remember in Code White, you are in a vegetative state watching Dirty Harry reruns on TV.

Now in Code Yellow, you are up looking out windows. You are listening to the dogs barking next door. You are looking for anything that looks out of place in the back yard.

Note: Any time we are walking the streets or moving around outside the safety of our home, we should be in a Code Yellow condition. We are not in a “go ahead and make my day” mood. We are just more keenly aware of our surroundings. If something or someone moves into our space, we are aware of it. We use our eyes and ears to gather data around us like a security satellite.

At first, we have to remind ourselves to do this often. It helps to put a sticky note on your dashboard. Before long, you find yourself getting out to pump gas and you automatically check your immediate surroundings. It just feels like the right thing to do. It is no more paranoia than looking both ways before you pull out into a street full of traffic.

Suppose you notice a car two islands over with four guys who seem to be doing a lot of looking around as if they are planning something. Reminding ourselves that we are in Code Yellow, helps us keep a higher level of awareness.

CODE ORANGE

Back in the house, our friend who was in a Code Yellow state just bumped that up to Code Orange. He looked out through the blinds and saw and man in a long black overcoat and a black knit cap on his head. He looked like he had several days beard growth. He was coming from behind the garage. The homeowner just saw a gun in his left hand. He was walking straight toward the back door.

MAY DAY – MAY DAY!

In a Code Orange, this is exactly what your mind is saying to you. May Day! Something is very wrong here. The parameters of Code Orange inform you that an unknown person has now entered your space or field of view which has the means and possibly the intent to harm you. It has also become obvious that this person is going to make contact with you.

In Code Orange, the person in question has

• The ability to harm you (this means they have a weapon or they are of such superior size or number that harm to you is likely)
• The opportunity to harm you (they are either in your safety zone or they are fast approaching it)

The unknown factor in Code Orange is: Intent

Our homeowner friend has now recovered his firearm which was locked away in his bedside gun safe. He was glad he had received that firearm training. He is now peering through the blinds on the back door as this tall dark stranger approaches.

To blast away or not to blast away? That is the question!

NOT! NO WAY! In Code Orange, we are not justified to use deadly force even though there is the “possibility” of harm to us. Why? Because we do not yet know the intent of the person who is approaching us. As of yet, we have not received any indication that this person means us any harm. Let’s look at two possible ways this scene could play out.

Scenario #1

Our friend is in Code Orange. There is a possible threat present. He is prepared to protect his family if necessary. Just then, the tall dark stranger’s coat swings back and a gold inspector badge is revealed. At the same time, two uniformed policemen come up beside the man in the overcoat to knock on the door. (A bit of advice here, never meet policemen at the door with a gun in your hand, don’t laugh, people do this all the time.)

Scenario #2

Our friend is in Code Orange. The tall dark stranger arrives at the back door. He begins to kick at the door around the lock. He is also heard to be cursing loudly. The kicking becomes more intense. The door begins to splinter. Our friend has now backed across the room. He has gone to a Code Red state in his mind and body. It is now reasonable to believe that his life and the lives of his family are now in mortal danger!
NOTE: I believe that it is NEVER appropriate to shoot through doors or walls. See 101 Gun Rules at this web site. It is totally free! Even if you don’t own a firearm, you should study this little report.

CODE RED!

No more decisions have to be made. Not a lot of cognitive processes necessary now. In a Code Red alert, there is not only a person who is entering your space with the ability to cause you grave bodily harm, but now you have reasonable concerns that your life is in mortal danger. Not somewhere down the road but right now. Danger is imminent. The missing piece to the puzzle was intent. This piece is no longer missing.

Now even though our friend cannot read the mind of the person who is trying to beat down his door with a gun in his hand, it is reasonable to assume that his intent is to harm the people in this home.

In a Code Red alert, you have met all legal and moral conditions which will now allow you to use whatever means is necessary to protect your life. Can you see the tremendous benefit of the code system? My files are full of cases of citizens trying to protect themselves yet over reacting or under reacting. There are instances of homeowners shooting wildly through doors, windows and walls. They never knew the level of danger, only that they were afraid. Usually, some innocent person gets killed. There are also many cases of armed intruders breaking in to meet armed homeowners. Many of these homeowners can never decide when their life is in danger. Much too often, people count on the intimidation factor of a firearm to end all hostilities. They buy a firearm, put it in the gun safe and believe that they will never have to pull the trigger and fire it at some dirtbag. Unfortunately, there have been people killed while standing there wondering what to do next.

Note on guns: Hopefully, you realize that the above story has nothing to do with promoting guns. A gun was used merely to present the code system. You may decide to own and use a firearm or not. That is your decision. We will not be promoting firearms as the answer to everyone’s self-defense needs.

I do believe that weapons of all kinds can surely “even the odds” when we are outnumbered and out gunned. I will still stand by my earlier statement, however,  about my daughters traveling the country on foot. I will always teach that I am far more concerned with what is in your head than the weapon in your hand.

Using a code system allows you to reason out what would be considered an “appropriate” response to various levels of danger that you may encounter. Consider the illustration below.

This week in my city, a man pulled into a car lot and left his engine running. While talking with a salesperson, this man looked out the window of the dealership and saw someone getting in his car. The hard working, well-meaning citizen ran outside and pulled out his “legal” handgun and began firing at the thief. The car hit a light pole and rolled over. The car thief was dead. Some would say, GREAT! Let’s mark one down for the good guys.

While it is true one less criminal will be walking our streets, the honest citizen who was very confused about when to use “deadly force” may find himself in court for years to come. He will have to make his case as to why he shot at a man who was fleeing away from the scene and not putting anyone in jeopardy. Most of the honest law abiding citizens out there are very confused about the use of deadly force. Many feel if a criminal has wronged them by robbery or assault, they now have been invested with authority by the unwritten laws of street justice to make it all right by shooting the criminal. This perception of justice, however, is not based on our legal system. This is the scale by which we will be measured and judged by a jury of our peers.

It is very disturbing when we find ourselves victim of a crime. We are so very angry. Surely any level of retribution would be not only justified but applauded by removing one scumbag from our streets.

Personal story

When I was a young married man of about 21, I had bought my first self-defense handgun. This was at a time when I first heard the word serial killer. There was a man randomly killing women in my city. I could not wait to get this degenerate around my neighborhood. I was ready, I thought.

At the time, I was in a band( not a very good one) We had a band trailer on the street in front of my house. About midnight, I heard a noise out in front of the house, I grabbed my handgun and run out the front door. I saw some guys running down the street with my band equipment. I yelled freeze dirtbag or some other colorful phrase I had heard at the movies before I started shooting. I thought it only fair to give them a little warning.

So I shot up the end of my street. The bad boys made a clean getaway. There were no bodies found anywhere in my neighborhood the next morning. I did learn a couple of things as a 21-year-old who was very angry with being victimized. For one thing, I really needed some serious target practice. I know, not cute. Actually that night 40 years ago, I started my journey of research into self-defense. I thought about the possible consequences of my actions. There was not anything about that encounter in my street that warranted firing a weapon. At that time, my response was fueled by anger. Not a very good reason to use deadly force. I actually began to think about the valid parameters for me using that little 32 S&W revolver.

Even at that time, I had a very elevated sense of right and wrong and good and evil.  I thought every act of lawlessness must be punished. For a 21 year old, I was quite indignant about crime and those who commit personal assault against the good, honest, hardworking members of our society.

About 20 years later, much had been processed in my mind about self-defense, use of deadly force and the restrictions by which I would use this force against another person. I had realized by this time that one must have a code system of some kind whereby you can determine the moment to use this force against a criminal.

This time, I had a Ruger 357 mag. revolver. By now, I had literally shot tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition in target practice just because I loved shooting. I was standing in line at a nearby grocery. A robber came in with a gun and began robbing the customer service. I was very cool. No shots were fired.

Yes, I could have nailed me a real live bad boy that night. I would have probably gotten some kind of key to the city or something for taking this robber off the streets. I knew by this time, however, my life was not in danger. No shots fired. No innocent life was in danger. Stop, think, and go home tonight!

When to react

This code system fits in very appropriately with our basic assumption that self defense is a planned reaction. Even if we are not using a firearm, we MUST know when to react to defend our lives. If someone is in your personal space in a parking lot and has shown a weapon like a knife, you must have a plan. Your plan must tell you in no uncertain terms when to act in order to protect the life of your young child which is now being threatened.

Instead of playing the hopeless, helpless, heartless victim, you turn into the female lioness protecting her cubs. This reaction is NOT natural to us “normal” citizens. We always want to err on the side of kindness and forgiveness. We really want to help change the mind of the 14 year old who has a knife at the throat of our child.

Using a code system helps us to make life and death decisions long before we are required to do so.  In the quiet of our office at home, we can work through such decisions and lay out appropriate actions when we would see ourselves in a code red condition.

Can you see that if you are in the mall parking lot and you have a situation that is going down fast, the code system helps you figure out when it is time for you to act or react?

DO NOT EXPECT THE BEST OUTCOME WHEN ALL OF THE INDICATORS AROUND YOU ARE SHOUTING OUT
CODE RED! – CODE RED! – CODE RED!

You should use your new code system in your crisis rehearsal practice sessions. Imagine yourself going from Code White in your house to Code Yellow in your front yard. From Code Yellow, you move up to Code Orange when you are approached in the shopping center parking lot. In Code Orange, you are looking for the missing piece to your code puzzle — intent.

Without a reasonable degree of certainly about the intent of this person approaching you, it is difficult to move on to a Code Red condition in which you can protect your life by all means available to you.

Never give up! Never quit! Never stop trying!

Steve Pearl
MatrixDefenseSolutions@gmail.com

It is very prudent to understand some of the legal aspects of self-defense before you are required to use your self defense skills. The problem arises when we use force in situations that may not be considered self-defense by our legal system. It is fairly amazing what some folks believe to be personal self-defense.

In my city, a man took his car into a dealership and left the car running with the door open. As he was talking with a sales person, a man got in his car and began to drive off the lot. He stepped in front of the car and proceeded to shoot his legal handgun at this person which ended in the person’s death.

Spend more time on your plan than on your weapon. You do not have a weapon in your hand 24/7. Your mind is your first line of defense. Train it! Use it!

In another incident, a man robbed a small shop owner. After the robber had exited and was running off down the street, the shop owner took out his gun, jumped in his car and chased him down. He emptied his handgun in the robber. The shop owner thought that since a crime had been committed, he was totally justified in chasing down the robber and killing him. Case closed!

The fact that we are filled with anger and indignation at lawlessness makes us somehow feel that we are justified to strike out at the criminal. I have heard folks say that if someone has hit them, hurt them or raped their wife, well, they would chase them down and kill them and then try to make it look like self defense. THINK!

When I went through my special deputy class years ago, I was absolutely amazed at the number of people who were so confused about when they could use a firearm in self defense. Some even thought that trespassing was grounds for shooting at someone. “He’s in my yard, I have a right to hose him down with my AK47!”

One hard-working father of two kids, go to church on Sunday, never been in trouble person was driving home from work when some kids pelted his truck with dirt clods. He pulled off the shoulder of the road, drew his firearm and started shooting at the kids. Some folks think that anger is a valid reason for drawing a firearm and shooting at a person who is the source of their anger.

It is likely that some may study this web site hoping to learn how to more efficiently hurt someone who insults them at the local bar on Friday night. This text is NOT written for that person. Please go to another web site! Most of us want to live our lives in peace and never be forced to use the skills taught here at Matrix Defense Solutions. Self defense should be your LAST option not first.

Our basic advice is — when your life is in imminent danger, and a person has made it clear they wish you bodily harm and they have the means to do so, you should act in a manner in keeping with what any other reasonable person would do — you protect innocent life.

If someone just robbed you and they have run off, you are no longer in danger. If you come home and find a guy running out your front door with the new 52-inch TV you just bought, your life is not in danger and no you do not have the legal right to open up fire on a person who is not trying to hurt anyone. I know, it’s a bummer, but we must abide by the rule of law, not the rule of anger and revenge.

Remember, this is not legal advice, only helpful hints to keep you out of jail and the courts. Self-defense is a planned reaction!

Steve Pearl
MatrixDefenseSolutions@gmail.com

In this episode of Pearls of Wisdom, Lizzy and Captain Steve discuss travel trouble and how to protect yourself.

Steve Pearl